I cannot fathomThe fathomsof sand and seaand the distance of you to meif love wasn't the cover or the covetedAll I wanted was to build a lovers bridgefrom me to youthrough all the hysteriaand hustleand strifebecause my love for youisn't just loveit's my lifeBreath be stifledPoetry be stillI love youBecause you love me moreThan IEver will.
Around this time last year, mom was deep cleaning her home. I’d come by after work and find her dusting the ceiling or vacuuming every crevice in the couch. She was months into her chemo treatment, and the side effects hadn't really appeared yet. I think she knew that there’d be a time when she couldn't do these things, especially those days when fatigue hit hardest. Cleaning was her way of coping. When she found out my dad wasn't going to wake from his coma, she cleaned out the entire contents of her refrigerator.I still want to pick up the phone and see if she needs anything from the store before I come over. Even though I am sitting in her house, sorting through her things, I'll kind of convince myself she's just in the kitchen or running an errand. I'm finding myself doing the same, coping and cleaning. I miss her most in these moments. I wasn't supposed to be doing this without her. I stare at her funeral program sometimes to remind myself. I know it gets better with time. It did after dad was gone. But grief is weird, and the denial is palpable lately.
I haven't thanked her enough forLiking my shit for so long. I can'tImagine the number of times she'sGraced my picture—attempts toConnect—with her eyes, stolenFrom obligations, revisions, thingsHer life and world demand of her.Thank you for watching over me.Your Likes are a sign that you don'tFeel the need to protest or correct.Encouragement always does moreThan correction. This you know andLive because I know and live it too.And you are me but aren't me. I don'tThink I know how love works or lifeWorks or what we do when we listenTo the next thought in our head. WhoWould we be if we saw each other again.God, I'm turning on the music. I need itTo survive because I'm about to toppleOver."We are due a visit," you said. The visitNever happened. "Can you imagine usIn person, what we would say, what weWould do. So much." Now I need anotherSong. It's an angry song, from my teenageYears. It says in an unromantic, screamingTone: "If we only knew the plans they hadFor us."
I love you each so much. I find my love is more easily defined by the light as it shines on your faces, the soft breeze of a hot summer day, the radiant color of flowers, the sensation of warmth I feel every time I think of you or when I see you. The sounds that fill my head are the sounds of your unique laughter, the crazy bursts of noise you make, the way you talk with me.When I first laid eyes on each you and held you in my arms, I knew that I had accomplished everything I needed. I knew. I knew so deeply inside that it seemed like there really wasn’t, couldn’t be any doubt. As the years go by, my love for the three of you continues to grow and deepen. It really is ‘this much’.
He said: Hi. I like your place.She said: Hi. I like your blue eyes.He said: I’m not very good at this.She said: Me neither.He said: You wanna take a spin in my hotrod car?She said: Sure, sounds like funIt was….and, it was also really loud.
I still root for your team, that's a givenIt's still you in my dreamsMy Love Songs for the LivingPlease don't forget to pay your Netflix bill.
I am not sure anymore
The surface rarely reveals the pain, yet such lonesome in the eyes must have spoken to the hunger in mine.There's something perfect in the joining of imperfections, just as negatives yield positive.Faults melt into craved comforts, the lithification of sand to stone.Once easily divisible,hidden,misunderstood.What is this love of understanding?This understanding ----- love.
our love evades containinggrowing wildly abundant, overtakingThe swagger swayedthey say it will blot out the sunthen we will love in the shade
Bone-deep osmosisJust a pin prick to rival the speckle of your eyesNo really.You hold the cosmos in your irisesNo really.I’m not being poeticYou bring me fossilsthat won’t last as long as your smileburning sun spots into my skinI age like rocks for youHollow myself out to be a cave where the crystals growYou know the onesThe deep glittering blue greens spiked with purple pinks.You know the onesThey grow every time your laughter reverberates off the wallsEcholocate the vastness with which I behold youI just want to hold youBone-deep
Cause that’s the thing about poets,we feel things so deeplythat we have to write ridiculous words about every experience,like eyes meeting across a room,that feels like the drip in the cavernin my chestwhere the crystals grow,words like immersion and euphoriaLike damn, your lips thoughYour body against mine thoughPressedLike leafs in a bookBound in the way you lose yourself to laughterShattering the the air like melodic glassLike if I was your boyfriendLike your fingers shape the chords that shape my wistful sighsin abundanceI want an abundance of you.But will settle for collecting the scattered leafsBrewing a tea of youImmersion, euphoria
We are an endless conversation.a synchronized breath of anticipation
Maybe we’re the remains of some constellation,or a kind of cosmic collaboration.We certainly defy Mother Culture’s expectations -smiling while shirking our own reputationsI, am a fit of inspiration.my touch, a tease. alive with sensation.You, are a force against stagnation -You, my love, are a walking exclamation.I wonder, if We are an indicationthat Mother Universe has found cause for celebration
How much I love you, I struggle to reduce with words.Our friendship, where our journey began. Your soft, warM ways of being a flame in the night, I was drawn to you like a moth.Our lust for each other. Unbound, comfortable, filters unnecessary.We’ve shaped one another. Two glaciers colliding. Friction melting pieces of us togEther, streaming and pouring and gushing over anything near.Both teachers and students. We realize what can be learned in this life is infinite.I love that your positivity knows no end, that your spirit is forever kind and giving.Some might be upset with mother universe for placing us apart. I choose to smile, because our love is undoubtedly abounding throughout her. She must see value in and desire the perpetuation of what we’ve discovered together. We serve each other Goodness and experiences that would make most blush and scurry.If forced to Answer how much I love you more simply: I find myself sharing the goodness you have showN me, and scouring this world for the things you are.
Will these songs ever stop reminding me of you?
Dark TimesShe says "our window." This is the offer I always wanted to make her. A mattress on the floor is all it is right now. She says "I love the view of the butte from our window."I saw the inside of her uterus in the emergency room the other night. After the ultrasound, she laid on the mattress for three days and shared her Vicodin with me. She is used to her body's treachery.We eat hummus and avocado at midnight. We are ghosts in baby bodies. Everything is how it is, not how it should be or how it will be forever.In our new kitchen made of old cabinets she uses brown water to rinse glittery lingerie. She says "I am god and I'm washing my panties in your kitchen sink."And I read, wine drunk, she stoned:In the dark times will there also be singing?Yes, there will be singing.About the dark times.
I like no one, except you.Except the times I don't.Which can be as much as half the time.I will never tell you.I love you too much.
I've forgotten meals. I've forgotten promises. I hope you never find out
I find myself leaning against it. I take it for granted because what did I ever do without it?
It takes me by surprise. It's lightning in the night.
I love you so much, you take my breath away. And when you do, I think: have it, it's yours now.
Love is easy with you,a never-ending resource we create together.You actively share it with others,an ability I admire and hope for myself when I’m able.This warm river need not to be blocked,whether by other opinions or by one’s own faculties.
We could explore each other so truly.Kiss each other so sweetly.Breathe in each other so deeply.But would our friendship, having blossomed so neatly, survive it?
I can only write love poemsWhen I don’t have a penLike when I’m lying underneath youWith the proof of your loveStill alive in my mouthWhen your body relaxes against mineFor a moment of brief, blissful reliefSometimes, then the words will comeBut, of course, I never have a pen.
I love him so much that it gets careful and far-the-fuck-awayI love him, spanning my height and frizzI love him verbosely, in binomial nomenclatureI love him enough to suss out what's left of the damageI love him in premonition: the steeple, the cypress treesI love him big April, JuneI love him three hours in, three hours in the city, three to fly overTo let myself cryTo write him
Let me kiss you againI am a single point in a vacuumA beginningSurrounded by empty blackThis is not darknessnot full of hidden terrorsNot trying to kill youkeep youNot cold or deadBlack space with a single white pointNeither warmNor starJust is,There is no objectiveIt is the opposite of existencePossibility unfolding waitingFor a second single point.Boredom is not elementalThere is only vacuumUntil one day there is a second point where there had always been nonePoints had blinked in beforeI infinitesimal white lives vacuum had made segment beforeAttempt to join points and make white hot across all that existsLet me kiss you againA single beautiful line stretching on either side to infinityBut I had only known segmentsVectorsSome point became finite lineWe so small stretching only to each otherLittle more than pointsOften these would blink out of existence as quickly as inI did not miss themIn this vacuum there is only II just amI had also known vectorPoints stretched with one moving toward the other to infinityPulling at the otherPoint argues for infinityThe other is stubborn there is a beginning that stretchesbut we will never be infinityI have been the stubborn and I have felt line move through me towards infinity seeing my end in their pointThese flicker before they too leave my homeThis black which is neither feeling or unfeelingUntil you, point emergesTentatively we stretch to each otherLet me kiss you againIt feels like againIt feels like foreverWe are stretchingmove throughSlowly at first and then racing toward infinityA kiss that lasts an eternityA line that exists beyond arbitrary constraints of space and lifetimesBefore this vacuum and into the nextThis point’s kiss stretching to eternity
Standing in the waterI watch you undressThrough the steamed glass shower doorThis room isn't big enough for two peopleButGet clean with meI kind of want to love you forever
How Much:Vastnessis a conceptcreated to stretch boundariesof perception and allow forthe unknown to present itself.Loveis a concept created toshrink a vastness down to a bitesized morsel, easy to consumewithout ever fully understanding its size.You are internally vast, though yourbody contains your reality inside and mylove for you is delicious, bite sizedand made of perceptions of whowe are when our atoms collideLike the universe, the true size ofthis love is unknown and ever expanding,but I will bring you only pieces you canfit into your jean pockets and take with youso that you may not forget how much there is.Rationing out this feeling so that it maylast a life time is a boundary I am still learninghow to draw each morning when I wake andattempt to taste your love for me.We are expanding into the universeor it is expanding into us but either waywe can fill this vast space with a passionthat knows no bounds,one bite at a time.
All part of our lifeFriends and familyBut only one we LoveLifting our burdenSoften our existenceWith a glare and a smileThat never is versatile
To my babies, love mom...You are my Saturday morning snoozeYou are my cold side of the pillowYou are my coffee brewingYou are my cream and sugarYou are my fuzzy wool socksYou are my snowy morning walkYou are my warm fireplaceYou are my welcome homeYou are my new book on the tableYou are my soft pink throwYou are my hot chamomile teaYou are my carefree afternoonYou are my soothing sipsYou are my page turnerYou are my story’s happy endingYou are my radiant sunsetYou are my favorite dayYou are my rest well textYou are my goodnight kissesYou are my lavender in the airYou are my twinkling starsYou are my sweet dreamsYou’re all the things I love and adoreYou’re all those things and so much more
I still, somehow, love you more each day.
You brought home flowersBecause I’d had a bad dayBut the cat ate themAnd for three days, she puked them everywhereI found them in the laundryUnder the bedIn both our shoesI think it’s a testament to our loveThat regurgitated flower petals still make me smileAs long as you touched them first
You taught me to be a doormat.You know, like the welcome mat that every visitor inevitably steps on as they enter your life?How could I love you?You taught me to always see the good in people.Even when they show me time and time again how vicious they really are.How could I love you?You taught me that I am not the sum of all my experiences, I am biggerThan what I’ve been through.I am where I’m going.I love you.
I’d wear Jnco’sSo that I could take you tooWherever I go
First kiss, rush of blood.Buds blooming, nature's rebirth.Falling. CautiouslyLeaves float to the earth.Glaring from summers blind shine,We call it "in love"Endless inception.Shouldn't my mind be all mine?Love is our cover.Ritual kisses,New year not feeling so new.Bitter aftertaste.Curse love foolishlyNever realizing lustGot the best of us.Recalibrated,Will I see the lust early,Or forever blind?
I love that when you love I can feel it through your gaze.The world stops for you and you stare, and in turn, my world also stops. It's an inconceivable moment that I'd never experienced until I met you.I cherish your honesty. I adore so much about you. Your one finger wave, the way you get excited about the simple things in life, such as biscuits and gravy.I adore your sudden and intense kisses, independence, goofiness....and how you softly whisper serious things, such as I love you...
Some days my waters crash and movewith excitement and energyand some days I am placid and calm.Will you love me when my waters are still?Will you be the boat that glides my surface,creating waves that move me?
My child,Bikes will crashand your body will fallmore times than I can prepare you for.As the years go on,bikes will turn to hopes and dreamsand wishful things.And as you fall, in life and out of love,remember one thing -pain is temporary.It lasts as longas you give it power to last.Pain ignored can often last for years,but pain faced head on,is full of love - and happy things.Pain carries lessons, and stories,and like thunder follows lightening;pain carries healing.So when you fall,which my darling you will...get up.Don't be afraid to show your hurt,don't hide your wounds away.Wear them like badges of honor,and allow only lessons, love,and memories to stay.
I'm going to stand here for a while,and look at the treesand breathe in this crisp fall air-please come find me.I'll be waiting between your hopes and dreams.Somewhere along the path of longingand tomorrow.So I'll stand still, and you'll come find me.
You.I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you.But no combination of twenty-six different letters could everaccurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is.
Fear isn’t a mind killer. Fear has nothing on age, on infirmity. When a brain unfastens itself from within, even primal terror doesn’t make sense anymore to you, you, far too tired to keep going.Love has something on fear. Love is sometimes dark. You’re dark too – we all are, sometimes. We’re dark when love is the only thing left between each other. We’re dark when the light fades from other people, when age and sickness robs us of anything but love, when fear gives way to acceptance and the tears come anyway and it never stops or slows until, sometimes, forever.Love is dark in you, behind your eyes. Your daughters told me about what those eyes have seen, who and what you don’t remember. The nurse told me eyes won’t close, sometimes. You aren’t afraid anymore, you can’t be. Too tired.It comes after the fear’s gone. All of us are glad it’s over. ‘It’s a blessing,’ someone said, but our love is dark. I don’t think it’s going to lighten up for a while, but I like that it’s still here, after you’re gone. Love between us, stronger than death. I think of you, sometimes.
MarigoldsSaturated in a sun colorBloom, bloomThrive in a Great Sea of GreyI found another seasonAnother season of doomto hold out my hands for youOur love for orogenyhas caused this Pangaea to driftLand-locked ablationsuper-deportingto the MarianaSubaqueous sojournTranscendence is bornLend usa piece offire-lined interferenceWe are apart,What are we a part of?ApolloWe can't goYour heartan organ hollowInstead we'll follow the daughter,the daughter of OceanusShe waitsfor nine daysFamishedShe waits,then she waits no moreMarigoldsThis inner-foldof Marigolds atonedI am the reason you persistto enlist the mysteriesof SantoriniThey filter through meand I begin to relocateall your faultsThe Pangaea driftsOur love for orogeny fitsContinents collideand the mountains upliftWe are a part,what are we a part of?You are my buoyin all that is blueThe ocean floor lullsThe mire settles
If asked to explainI would simply sayThat loveis understandingthe colorsKlimt gaveto womenand the trees
You see. me.And you love. me.You love free. ly.I see. you.And I love. you.I love you free. ly.We scoff at the narrative of love “to.get.her”It is fig.me(a)nt to incite discontent.me(a)nt to spurn unending wanderWe have un.learned that love=reciprocity.Sweet Love, surely we share dust of an ancient common star, that to us whispersLove will exist, infinite and permanent, whenWe love free. ly.So, when someone asksHow much do you love them?We let pass through all-telling grinsI love them free. ly.
Dear Duchess Cream Puff,
I love you Cream. You are the cutest little pudge nut ball in the world. You almost always are at the door when I get home. If not, you are being a little fur ball on top of some magazines, or on your blanket. I love to hold you and give you pets behind your ears and scratches under your chin. I know you love it because you purr so loudly. Even though you wake me up in the morning to give you your chibbles, you’re super cute. You love your kitty tower and your string. Sometimes you give me kitty kisses or you do kitty cuddles. It’s super cute. I love you Cream!
You’re super cute.
Te amo como apricity. Es muy similar to our Mexican sun in January, no? You know it's el invierno but there you are, bronzed (burnt) beneath the Caribbean sky. Maybe not. Maybe I remember it wrong. But cuando I close my eyes, verte. I see tu sonrisa and the pockets on your cheeks and your tanning skin. Do you remember when we found the Great White Shark tooth on the beach in February? I love you like the feeling of that triangle. Smooth, sharp, jagged, limpio, blanco. I think I loved you through the broken glass. The cup thrown at the wall, shattering el vidrio, ringing like a thousand tiny bells all chiming at once. I the vindictive thrower, you the deserving ducker. After, you made lemon pepper salmon. Tu cocinabas so well. We apologized over perfectly seasoned fish and falling salt water. Recuerdas? Te amé when you left, but a little more cuando you stayed. Try as we might, the glass was still shattered. Pero I love you como apricity and the tooth del tiburon. I love you that much.
A Haiku for my Love...I wake in the nightYour butt hair tickles my thighNew love is so sweet...<3
In the ether, our atoms float.SearchingIncomprehensivelyfor each other. And when they meet, they’ll cling together so tightly. Home finally recognized.Our atoms will live in birds, trees, dance in the molecules of dust that float in sunbeams. They’ll drift, sleepily, among the myriad of other lives, lives yet to even be realized. And when they go to use our atoms to make new lives, we’ll be pressed so tightly, they won’t be able to take just one.They’ll have to take two.
I love you so muchthat the weight of itthe bottomless, expanding, endlessness of itit filled me upinside and outuntil there’s no Me left for You.
i was his war zoneat dark i fled to find youhealed, whole here i am
I love you so muchthat the only way I feel close enoughis to imagine us, all our pieces, in the same StarWe fall to the Earth as Stardustand rearrange in countless waysuntil we meet, and recognize in each othersomething familiar, something ancient, something innateand we knowOnce, we were One
A Variable Love Equation(I Love You)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))> the fear of judgement> the desire to be accepted by culture> the time my body will allow me the odd privilege of being human> my imagination++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++(plus)< the feeling of your love freely given to me< my need to exist< my addiction to the quest for constant happiness< perfect============================================(equals)= 0 (zero)or= oxo (∞)or= This Much
Love conquers allI’ve lost my sense of humor and urgency about money; it’s other people’s money; I can get some because I’m only more able to be real with people and speak clearly about who I am and what I do. The world is so different to me each new day. What “the world” is is different to me every day. I always have new answers to what I do for a living, i.e. who I work for. I work for readers and receivers of my links, references, commentary, observations, analyses, opinions, encouragementIt all relates to a bigger board, you’re not a kid anymore, you’re an adult who has an agenda that is always hidden behind a smile and politenessThe best you can do is try, to have a voice, to be true to yourself[Another mess of a page]Health care, jobs and educationConcerns, concernsat least we exhale together
her phone is brokensearches for pen and papermessage sealed with kiss
Be loved, however detrimentalPretty girls everywhereOn bikesBehind glassesUnder my thumbis it possible I just haven’t met the right people yet? it's a quaint questionhoping my future's waiting there latent behind some gate I just haven't arrived at yet...How much further need I go down? I'm so low already, is there morefossil record to uncoverto be a "thirtysomething"? My Godand laugh at living having written these words? How far can I push the number? What's the scale of this life thing?
Love, a fusion of worldviewsOne day years ago, I felt love lying next to a girlfriend in her childhood bedScooted together under blankets, repressed tears began flowing. I told her about theseven, maybe eight bedrooms I grew up in as a kid. She’d had one. I lay therebeneath her star stickersplotting my way through every house I grew up in - "our" house, I guess I’d call my first; then “my dad's”, a pool house(cottage?)with vodka bottles in the recycling we’d wheel into the ivy; there was my mom's apartment, my stepdad's (former neighbor's?) house, my dad's apartment, my dad's house, my mom and stepdad's new house—With Jesus in the next room tonight, I realized I embodied my parents' lack of marriageWhat is family—a model of lines and points on a map? A diagram with arrows? I can’t draw arrows.Two dots moving across a windswept plain? Buffalo crossing the hills to mate?A male and female fuse for a momentand begin then the kaleidoscope dayswhere nothing stays the same but life isbrightly colored nonetheless
Like the distance from this rocky whiz kit to its sauntering skeletonJust long enough to think I'm lostwhen reallyour gait is the only thing thats steadiedAngelic PendulumThat swings sequence to freedomLike nailsand the broken hammer that beats 'emLike a fleeting heart masqueradeAnd unlimited pitches at the batters cage-Swingers Up-Like the baggage that you gave to the last bleeding heartpurple sleeved comradebut the wounds weren't from combator bobcatsLike self inflicted innocenceand barrel bottom eminenceLike criminal evidencesketched on the sidewalk talking to pleasant peasants in an angels danceLike a missing bullets second chance ricochetsplitting display cases open to the public yellinghip hip hoorayLike the novelty of a long bookand finding its missing page.
I love you like onionsYou taste delicious and you make me cry.that's probably why I think I'm allergicbecause proximity to you makes me think I'll dieHiis usually all I can muster- not sure if really in love / or if just a lover - oh brotherI'd say I'm head over heelsbut the ponds deepand the weeds goneand wet lands are practicing desert sand tacticsI'd dredge till the bars along the coast were pitiful but legibleterminate my prophecy as a masterand end up practically peons in the dark with a matchstickI can barely seed debris in this endless sea of you and meas acting priest in the pulpitculpritvaguely calling in for rouge fishsince my hopes this school ends up like my heartnice and swollenyour hands needed in this game of Texas hold emand as all this is swirling I lay awake taking bits of bread crumb to keep my bones thin enough to slither out from this witches carving cavern before I'm done for...I love you like the escape of one more.
There's a picture from the past, that will not last.Happiness and bitterness are soon to begin, yet it's only the beginning of a new end.Time is lost along the way, but memories are sure to be made.Another page, another chapter, all will be the same until one day.What was, is now unseen.But the hope of forever, will last all of eternity.
More than anticipated, the corners of lips riseElated, unprepared, consciousness captivated, engrossedDeath to pride, slices exhaust, ego dryMore than contemplated, than should be allowed, safe words rejectedMore than bearable, or sustainable, or digestiblePurges attempted, change enactedStill, it lingers.
My chest and back expand from their centers.
My head gets lighter.
I want to push our foreheads together while our noses rub.
Hold my head against your stomach.
I’ll wrap my arms around your knees.